Friday, August 29, 2008

Just a glimpse of my life married to a Willoughby boy...

For those of you who wonder just exactly what Amanda and I have to tolerate being married to Willoughby boys, I may be able to help in that area.
You see just one Willoughby brother alone is hard to handle but when you put the two together things get just plain silly, you have to stop and remind yourself that they really do have a redneck family tree. The things they find amusing is usually only amusing to them, unless you consider loss of brain function funny, and I guess some people do.
Anyway here is just one small example of their sense of humor, this is a conversation my husband (the oldest of the Willoughby boys) sent me, it is what they discuss over IM while Tod is in Afghanistan.

Tim Willoughby: I was going to grill some corn too, but every time I pour the can on the grill, the corn falls through the grates. I can't figure out how they do it.

Tod Willoughby: LOL

Tod Willoughby: put the whole can on there!

Tim Willoughby: i didn't think of that!

Tod Willoughby: or you could use cream corn and freeze it into popsicles then grill it, but make sure you put a bowl under the grates

Tim Willoughby: yes, I like cream corn better anyway

Tod Willoughby: everybody does, Tim….EVERYBODY does.

Tim Willoughby: i wish there was a way to put cream corn back on the cob, I going to figure that out and make millions

Tod Willoughby: hmmm...

Tod Willoughby: maybe you could form it into a paste and glob it on the cob, then slow bake it at 300 degrees!

Tim Willoughby: what if you could pop hominy? That would be a massive piece of popcorn

Tod Willoughby: will it pop?

Tim Willoughby: i dont think so, but everything is worth trying

Tod Willoughby: yeah, there is literally no risk involved

Tim Willoughby: true

Tod Willoughby: and I think everything will pop at the right temperature

Tod Willoughby: I was putting some thought to your cream corn on the cob idea

Tim Willoughby: go ahead

Tod Willoughby: well, first you have to buy cream corn, then corn on the cob, and that is a waste.

Tim Willoughby: right

Tod Willoughby: so you could just grill the corn on the cob...

Tod Willoughby: then chew the kernels off the cob and let the saliva work its purpose

Tod Willoughby: and let your mouth empty its contents into a bowl of milk

Tod Willoughby: and then you have a bare cob and cream corn. Genius!

Tim Willoughby: but how do you get the cream corn back on the cob?

Tim Willoughby: you can dip the cob in the cream corn

Tim Willoughby: It all sounds like it would work, but I think it is ridiculous that you stick a whole corn cob on the grill, I have never heard of that.

Tod Willoughby: well, that is the small risk of an innovation

Tod Willoughby: I am still not sure about the getting it back onto the cob, unless you use my slow bake methodology

Tim Willoughby: what if you mixed it in flour after the milk stage and formed a paste.

Tim Willoughby: then paste it back on the cob and deep fry it for about two minutes

Tod Willoughby: now your thinking!

Tim Willoughby: how dare we think of cooking something without frying it

Tod Willoughby: Grandma would be so unhappy

Tod Willoughby: I wonder if she would help us un-cob the corn?

Tim Willoughby: she may have some un used cobs laying around the house.

Tod Willoughby: I'll bet she does!

Tim Willoughby: we just need to stay away from the brown ones

Tod Willoughby: mean LOL

Tim Willoughby: amanda just caught the last part of our conversation and she is a bit confused

Tod Willoughby: sometimes on Thanksgiving we buy indian corn. The birds eat the kernels and there are bare cobs everywhere

Tim Willoughby: i wonder what would happen if you stuck a whole indian corn in the microwave?

Tim Willoughby: would you have popcorn on the cob?

Tim Willoughby: thats it

Tim Willoughby: popcorn on the cob!

Tod Willoughby: hahaha...dangit, I mean LOL

Tod Willoughby: and would they be purple and red?

Tod Willoughby: would a giant thanksgiving gourd pop in the microwave too?

Tim Willoughby: i dont know, but I do know that you can transform a 5 oz chicken breast into a block of wood in about 5 minutes in an industrial microwave

Tod Willoughby: did you do that at work?

Tim Willoughby: yes, I was curious

Tim Willoughby: we have one microwave that pulls about 1800 watts and the other one is about 2200.

Tod Willoughby: I would recommend you try cream corn on the cob or indian popcorn on the cob at work, so Amanda doesn't get mad at you.

Tim Willoughby: good idea

Tod Willoughby: plus, I don't think the standard household microwave has the power to actually pop the indian corn

Tim Willoughby: i cooked a steak in it one day just to see what would happen

Tim Willoughby: medium in about a min and a half, but it tasted like s%$#

Tod Willoughby: I bet it tasted like the steak that got teleported in the movie "The Fly"

Tim Willoughby: yes.

Tim Willoughby: You ought to see what those puppies do to aluminum foil

Tod Willoughby: I bet it looks like a West Texas thunderstorm.

Tim Willoughby: fireworks

Tod Willoughby: man you have the coolest job ever

Tod Willoughby: all that food and appliances to play with

Tim Willoughby: its fun, we deep fried some ribs the other day

Tod Willoughby: wow!

Tod Willoughby: this is how things like crab-cake burgers end up taking the world by storm

Tim Willoughby: they were already smoked, we just battered them and fried them for about 2 minutes. Not too bad

Tim Willoughby: it is funny that you say that, I make a mean crab cake burger

Tod Willoughby: I would offer them to customers as a promotional. Ask them for their testimonials

Tod Willoughby: wow, I love crab-cake burgers.

Tim Willoughby: I tried to get a pasta on the menu, we ran it in our store for a few days, but they didn't really talk it up enough, so it didn't make it

Tim Willoughby: They are always looking for ideas, especially when it is from stuff we already have in the house

Tod Willoughby: will you make me a crab cake burger and send it over here to me?

Tim Willoughby: yes, i'll put the lettuce and tomato on the side so it doesn't get soggy

Tod Willoughby: perfect!

To some this may seem not too bad, but imagine this in person and sometimes they actually try these things!

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